Don’t Be A Loser And Other Social Media Tips
The other day, a friend asked me if I would train her to use Twitter. She seemed to think that since I work on the Interwebs 40 hours a week, I must be good at social media. And maybe she’s right. I might be decent at managing my online identity–and even attracting people to follow me (still amazed that 420 people actually care what I have to say on Twitter or that you lovely folks read this blog); but just like everyone else, I’ve made my share of mistakes online.
So, in an attempt to save all of you from committing some of my past sins, here’s a list of my top social media recommendations:
1.) If you’re going to Tweet at a celebrity, make sure you use the 140-characters to demonstrate your razor sharp wit. Anything less just seems desperate.
2.) No one cares what you want to eat, are eating or just ate. Unless it’s some sort of animal reproductive organ. But that will (hopefully) repulse more followers and friends than it will attract. So yeah. Just don’t do it.
3.) LinkedIn is a professional website. If your Twitter stream posts to your LinkedIn page, make sure you only Tweet resume-quality stuff. And make sure it’s all spelled correctly. Most employers find good grammar to be an asset. (And you don’t want to work for the ones who don’t.)
4.) I know the 240 people you’re connected with on Facebook are labeled as “Friends”, but really, that’s more of a technical term. You wouldn’t call all 240 of us to vent about what a skank your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend is, so there’s no need to post it as your status. Trust me, this makes you look bad, not her.
5.) When it comes to trending Twitter Topics, proceed with caution. As I type, Keith Sweat and #babymakingsong are trending, and I guarantee I’d lose a few followers and even more credibility if I were to join in on that conversation. Unless of course I brought out my razor sharp wit. That is the Twitter Trump Card. (Sidenote: Someone should tell @RealChuckie that Keith’s song is one word. His version makes it seem like the title of a CSI episode; and also, the fact that this dude has nearly 200,000 followers pretty much answers the question of what’s wrong with America’s youth.)
6.) Know who follows you and why. I use Facebook to connect with people I actually know in real life. Many of relatives, friends from elementary school and even some of my mom’s friends have friended me on Facebook, so when I made a snarky comment about Tina Fey the other day, only one person commented. In the future, I’ll save the snark for places where people expect it from me (this blog and Twitter) and use Facebook as a way for people to keep tabs on me (eg- stalk out my pictures to see if I’ve had a baby, gained an inordinate amount of weight or been stricken with a bad case of adult acne).
7.) Limit profanity. Don’t be crass. Don’t show your wiener. You would think this is self-explanatory. The news tells us this is not.
A recent poll showed that 18 percent of people regret posting something on the Internet. Personally, I thought this number was a bit low. Clearly they did not survey politicians (see above recommendation). Here’s my personal litmus test for posting something on a social media site: If it’s something you’d be annoyed or offended to read on someone else’s wall, you’re probably not cool enough to post it on yours.